2003-05-21 10:51 p.m.

i'm a bit confused. he makes these rash, or what appears to be rash, decisions all the time. i can't believe he wants to get a new job as a receptionist. the career i had. the same objectives i had. i can't see him being happy doing this. everyone else has been supportive. i have been supportive. i haven't told him what i really think/feel because he seems so into this idea. what is he going to do all day? sit at a front desk and answer phones? thats not him. yes it will provide benefits, but at what cost? i just don't understand.

i know he is having mixed feelings right now. he is attracted to lyzz, but he doesn't want to hang out with her for whatever reason, and yet he still calls her. its like heather all over again. i just want him to do whatever he is going to do with complete conviction. if he wants to hang out with lyzz...hang out with lyzz. if he wants to be a receptionist because he REALLY wants that career, then do it up. i just fear that he is diving in and not really realizing what he is doing. and i suppose thats what one should do in life...just get in there, test the waters out. but if he doesn't like it and it was not what he had anticipated, i hope he finds something else and doesn't linger...because then he will lose himself.

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